Punching the Clock for the Last Time

Retirement Day

This is my last day as a wage worker, 'though not the end of being productive, I hope. I retire from the Postal Service today. I will work the entire day and make my last sweep of the time clock at 4:30 (unless I take them deep on overtime just once more). This space should display a few more posts now that I have more time.

The Assembled Multitude

Transcript of my parting words to the assembled multitude at the Portland, Maine Post Office

I do have a couple of words to say; don't worry Tim [clock watching postal manager]; it won't take too long. It's just a few things. I'm not going to say everything here [shuffles many pages of notes].

When I started working here people asked me, "Why are you going to work for the post office?" Partly it was, well, when I was a kid I had a dream that I would be a mailman. So you could say that I'm living the dream.

What I always say about working at the post office is that when times are good maybe it's not so good working here, but when times are bad they are not so bad either. We all know that it's a good job [delivering the mail] but that it's a hard job. We all know what it's like. Remember your brothers [shout out by Zora, I think, before I could finish my pregnant pause "and sisters!"] and sisters, of course. So help each other out the best you can.

And the number one thing I've found in here to take away the stress is to be safe. I was safety officer here for a long time and I found out that as soon as I made my first priority being safe, the job became a lot easier for me in that way; I didn't feel stressed so much. Please remember that.

I know that everybody here probably at one time or another I've pissed off, so for that, I apologize. 

There are probably three kinds of people here but everybody here should be happy this morning and it should be good for you. 

If you didn't like me you are happy I'm leaving. 

If you liked me you are happy that I'm getting to retire. 

If you don't care one way or the other you're getting some justification for a little more help or overtime and a piece of cake.

So I'll just leave you with a quote from a local guy, Hank Longfellow, who used to live around here, and he said [pause] You know actually I'm a little more nervous than I thought I'd be. I really am nervous. He said:

“They who go
Feel not the pain of parting; it is they
Who stay behind that suffer.”

That's it! Thank you very much.
[The End]

The Tsar never got a chance to retire but he did "go" in the sense of Longfellow's verse.
 I'm sure he had a good run while it lasted.

Tsar Nicholas II on summer holiday